A 2013 humorous smartphone take (Ѻ) on the myth of resurrection of Jesus (see: death and resurrection of Jesus); a story based on, via a Roman recension rewrite, the resurrection of Osiris (see: death and resurrection of Osiris); a story based on, via an early dynasty recension rescript, of the annual Nov-Dec astro-theological raising of the Orion constellation (see: raising of Orion). |
“All Israel has a share in the world to come, as Isaiah said: and all of your people who are righteous will merit eternity and inherent the land. And these are the people who do not merit the world to come: (a) the ones who say that there is no resurrection of the dead, (b) those who deny the Torah is from the heavens, and (c) the Epicureans.”— Anon (c.200AD), Mishnah (§:Sanhedrin) [1]
1. Widow of Zarephath’s son (by Elijah) [1st Kings 17:22]
2. Shunammite woman (by Elisha) [2nd Kings 4]
3. Anon man (by the bones of Elisha) [2nd Kings 13]4. Widow of Nain’s son (by Jesus) [Luke 7]5. Jairus’ daughter (by Jesus) [Luke 8]7. Jesus (by god) [Matthew 28:6; Acts 2]
6. Lazarus (by Jesus) [John 11]
8. Dorcas (by Peter) [Acts 9]
9. Eutychus (by Paul) [Acts 20]
Two humorous “raising of Lazarus” (Ѻ) cartoons, the most-infamous resurrection in the Bible, per reason that Lazarus had been dead for four days (the most delayed of all resurrections); the Biblical character Lazarus being a Greek to Latin translation of La Azarus, aka "The Osiris". |
“It appears that Thomas [see: Doubting Thomas] did not believe the resurrection and as they say would not believe without having ocular and manual demonstration himself. So neither will I: and the reason is equally as good for me and every other person as for Thomas.”— Thomas Paine (1794), The Age of Reason (pg. 27); cited by Jennifer Hecht (2003) in Doubt: a History (pg. 356)
“Paul simply shifted the center of gravity of that whole life to a place behind this existence—in the lie of the “risen” Jesus. What was the only part of Christianity that Muhammed borrowed later on? Paul’s invention, his device for establishing priestly tyranny and organizing the mob: the belief in the immortality of the soul—that is to say, the doctrine of “judgment”.... That every man, because he has an “immortal soul,” is as good as every other man; that in an infinite universe of things the “salvation” of every individual may lay claim to eternal importance; that insignificant bigots and the three-fourths insane may assume that the laws of nature are constantly suspended in their behalf.”— Friedrich Nietzsche (1888), The Anti-Christ (§42-43)
“An analysis of our Easter rituals, which seemingly purport purely Christian significance, will reveal that similar miraculous events occurred in faiths of civilizations which preceded the Christian era by thousands of years. For example, Dupuis writes' that Krishna, the crucified Hindu Savior, rose from the dead. Similar stories circulated about Buddha' the Chinese Lao-Kium, and Zoroaster. Ovid's poem, written at the time of the Roman Emperor Augustus, describes Aesculapius, the ‘son of god’, as being put to death and being resurrected. Likewise, the savior Adonis or Tammuz, after being put to death, arose from the dead. Julius Firmicius, an eminent early Christian priest and scholar who lived during the reign of Constantine and therefore at the time of the Council of Nicaea (325 AD) gives an account of the rites of Adonis. He is struck by the similarity of the heathen mysteries with the Christian sacrament honoring the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus. Alexander Murray quotes the exclamation which the ancient Greeks used during their Easter festival: ‘Adonis lives and is risen again’. In our Christian Easter services, the name of Christ replaces Adonis.”— Karel Huier (1946), “The Astronomical Significance of Easter” [4]